200 French Jews emigrate to Israel

Ever wonder why we have so many miscalculations in America?  Why is the word anarchist negative?  Why is everything good or bad?  Why do people picket abortion clinics when they could feed a starving child?  Why do they ban gay marriage when businessmen and lawyers have always been able to choose same-sex legal partners.  Maybe it has something to do with the Puritans.  Imagine a culture where half of your thoughts are forbidden, and the winners are always chosen by God, the losers always undeserving of Him.  imagine you have a job, for which you need a car, which you pay for using money from your job.  It works out that most people commute and work 3-5 hours a day to earn the automotive priviledge of working.  Scratch all that... if I blame it on the TV networks I'll have better links.

...maybe it has something to do with the TV.
The great thing is that while TV news specializes in delivering selective information in an entertaining and highly profitable way, they have used their talents to post this kind of news on the internet.  The great thing about this kind of news is either confirms your opinions or angers your sensibility.  One hardly ever pauses to consider the various merits of a TV news brief.  This leaves lots of brain capacity for absorbing advertising.  One such article by ABC news, which was clearly intended to anger me.  The only actual newsworthy note is that Sharon 'softened' his stance, saying now that Jews should to Israel, "not out of fear but because it is their homeland".  I'm sure that what he meant to say was that the incident that prompted his plea for French Jews to escape turned out to be a hoax.  Though I can understand why ABC news doesn't want this story reported in a thorough manner.  What if someone read the news and couldn't immediately label the major parties;  Protective Sharon, festive Jews, racist French, doo-doo head Chirac.
Even the independent media, while understanding the need for full coverage and reasoning, gets the point wrong.  People all over the world hate each other.  They are not born hating... they are not taught to hate by their fathers.  They hate because of a fundamental flaw in democratic capitalism: poverty.  Check the depression era, Weimar Republic Germany, arguably one of the most democratic (thus dangerous) governments ever.  Muslims don't hate Jews.  They just happen to be poor in areas where Jews do better.  Moving rich Europeans to a neighborhood where many Muslims have had their houses bulldozed won't decrease ethnic hatred.
Of course this is all one sided, and I've presented you, the reader with 3 options (only 1 better that the TV news).  What I have said can confirm your opinions, it can anger your sensibilities, or you could have stopped reading at the first paragraph and turned on the TV.

CIA foreign officials directory used mainly for inter-office gambling

It has come to light that the directory of Chiefs of State and Cabinet Members of Foreign Governments, maintained by the CIA, serves to announce results of an agency gambling ring.  Sources claim that agents and officials habitually place bets on who will be added and removed from the list, and by what means (election, coup, assassination, natural causes, "natural causes", etc.).  The decision to release the list outside the agency came only after Pentagon workers expressed interest in inter-agency wagers.  However, it's official purpose is listed as referential aid.  Congress has scheduled an investigation and hearing into misappropriations and illegal gambling for early November.
Several employees have stepped forward to testify against the agency in the last 15 days.  Prompted by the results of their gambling addiction, they have described how the use of the list encouraged miscommunication between offices and abuse of priviledged information by higher ups.
The Agency has so far denied the allegations and insisted on the legitimate purpose of the list.  Furthermore, plans are underway for another list entitled, "the Directory of CIA Employees & Close Relatives," but it is not yet decided whether the list will be publicly available.

I am not a number!

You may have noticed a small change around here. That's right, Mr. X has gone public! You'll notice how these entries are now signed DMB. While DMB is thankful for the human rights work that has made this announcement possible, we will continue to use "Mr. X" and "X Sama" in memory of days when yours truly could only afford to give 'the man' a single letter to track him by.

Mr. X's guide to not sounding like a moron

Stop, right now. I mean it. Stop talking about Israel and Palestine like you know what you are talking about. Stop pretending you cared enough to discover the truth and form a balanced opinion on the subject. We all do it. I'll be the first to admit that my sophistries have little to do with the facts. In fact, my specialty is piecing together bits of suggestive information in an intuitive way to give the illusion of depth, when, in fact, there is none.  The divide between us is that the web of my reasoning is so superficially deep (or is it deeply superficial?), that you can't dispel the illusion.  To help make your poor excuse for reasoning appear solid, we present "Mr. X's guide to not sounding like a moron when conversing drunkenly about the Middle East."
The first step is to realize that, although helpful, a brain upgrade is not required to sound intelligent.  You must simply learn to regurgitate facts as if you possessed understanding.  The easiest way is to connect your facts as though your mind were pursuing a logical chain of thoughts.  Then insert your opinion as though it were another fact falling soundly into place.  For example,

"The state of Israel was founded on May 15th, 1948, which was only 3 days after May 12th.  Both dates as well as 48 being divisible by 3, we can assign Israel a value of 333, the opposite of 666.  Thus, Arafat, and not Kofi Annan, is the devil... fact."

So go out there and arm yourselves with facts and soon you'll be pontificating with the best of them.  Now while there are real barriers to gaining facts on this conflict (the fact that those of us lucky enough to have a choice between Pokemon, Digimon, and Power Rangers are bored by history), there is a flash presentation that can help you avoid looking stupid. After all, while you may not care enough about the truth to discover it on your own, there are plenty of people who are waiting for the opportunity to publicly highlight your ignorance.

And I haven't forgotten you who may be disappointed that it is now harder to expose ignorance. I encourage you to write to Arthur Lenk, a legal adviser at Israel's ministry of foreign affairs for his gross mistake of assuming that his country has been trying to make peace for the last 50 years.

You can read Mr. Lenk's appraisal of Israeli courts as above the UN here. Be careful to note how he is "furious with the Palestinians for forcing us to put up a barrier near my town - instead of investment in education and healthcare and hi-tech." Surely, if he had received a better education, Mr. Lenk might appreciate how this attitude permits our investments to be squandered in the name of security. Surely, once it's precious security fence is complete, Israel will be able to sell off all those expensive weapons that, in focusing their damage on too specific a target, were ineffective in combating terror.

Journalists smuggle headlines to Mr. X

X Sama announces a new service, Uncensored XXX^TM, freely available, and offered to mainstream journalists. Mr. X will publish the original headlines of articles as well as notes on alterations made by corporate censors. We begin with three articles whose official versions mask the horrible truths uncovered.

Murdoch accused over TV news 'bias' :
Originally titled, "Why are we still accusing Murdoch of 'bias'?" The writer's conclusions that, "people who can't tell that FOX is biased are going to have a hard time reading this far anyway," were removed before publishing.


France accuses US of Aids blackmail :
Originally titled, "Alien and Sedition Acts' jurisdiction revoked in France".  The author's opiniated use of, "Damn straight," and, "Tell it Brother!" after quoting the French president, was removed in final editing.


CIA Chief Tells AP Osama Aware of Plots :
Originally titled, "CIA Chief Tells AP Osama Aware of Plots While Winking and Nudging Everyone in Pressroom"