Daddy, why won't you give me a media empire?

Sources close to the White House cited family troubles at an Alabama businessmen's kabbal as the reason for the president's delay. Having been briefed earlier in the day on James Murdoch's appointment as chief executive of BSkyB, the president rang his father on the phone to demand answers and beg for a media empire of his own.
George Bush Senior reportedly retorted that his son was a quitter who never finished anything in his life, and that he had already given his son more than he could chew. "The president then called for privacy when his father began chanting, 'daddy's boy', over and over," said chief aide Buckwheat.
The president later reappeared to announce that "sticks, stones, and heat-seeking missiles may break Iraq's new policemen's bones, but America will never stop throwing money at them."
Like Osama Bin Laden before him, James Murdoch has been warned by friends to beware of the president's envy, and to avoid bunkers and caves for the time being.