New quantum marketing allows movie to exist in paradoxical dual-state disappointing, record-breaking

Accounting scientists found that opening weekend ticket sales of Matrix Revolucionarios were only 45% of spring's Matrix Reloaded's take, showing how disappointed consumers have become with the production and marketing of blockbuster trilogies. Independently, Dr. Grove measured the release to have been the largest worldwide opening in movie history.
Marketing executives have been quietly celebrating the technological breakthrough. The discovery has been reported as accidental, and experts are cautious to apply the technique to other types of products. However, the dramatic effect of quantum marketing is sure to signal a boom for the industry. While many campaigns in the past have effectively sold shit, this is the first time sales figures have provably observed a product in simultaneous states of shittiness and profitability.