Operation naming mishaps clarified

Amid name comparisons between the current anti-partisan slaughter in Iraq and a half-century old Nazi operation, Pentagon officials have released a statement explaining the coincidence.
"The name, Iron Hammer, was chosen because of the "Old Ironsides" nickname of the 1st Armored Division. We wanted to inspire the men and women of that division most of all, to move past their defensive identity. Creating a new purpose for those soldiers, that of metaphorically becoming an iron bludgeon with which our nation can shatter the skulls of soft, impure Iraqis. There is a process involved in name choosing, that failed to catch the insensitive Nazi connection, for which we have relieved 52 newly hired senior administrators, and for which we now apologize. Further engagements in Iraq will be referred to as under Operation Iron Cranial Drill, to emphasize our troops' goal of forcibly extracting intelligence information by whatever means necessary."

Foot-in-mouth disease has plagued the branding office of the Pentagon since the beginning of the crusade. 'After it declared war on terrorism, U.S. officials changed the code name for its impending attack on Afghanistan to Operation Enduring Freedom.

The original name, Operation Infinite Justice, was jettisoned amid fears that the Muslim world, already leery of U.S. intentions, would object on the basis of Koranic teachings that only God can provide infinite justice, as opposed to Christians, who understand that "infinite justice" was not meant to be infinite as God's retribution on man, but code for testicular electrocution.