Madame Pink Predicts the End of Spelling!

This investigator was quick to notice a crazed harlot skulking around a school district. When approached, the woman denied her insanity and instead purported to be THE pink girl. Remembering that many seemingly crazy people are actually clairvoyants who are overloaded with otherworldly stimuli, I brought her back to my van to record her story.
She was intent on passing on a message, one that has been received by others like her all around the boxcars and weigh-stations of the world. What follows may result in your brain finally proving how much smarter than you it is:

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, olny taht the frist and lsat ltteres are at the rghit pcleas. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by ilstef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Yes... It seemed obvious that the dyslexic folk were making a push for the support. Wlel you can glbobe my kolbnbe you sdehihtas. In exchange for not reporting her, the pink girl read my palm. I am still shaken up. I thought that my new brain from Power Marketing had really given me the edge and explosiveness to put my best foot forward. However, those illusions fled quickly when she pulled my card, "the Oaf", the name by which I was oft derided and/or inserted into parable before my second return to the island.